a dirty heart

The heart is more desperately sick than all else, who can know it? I am thankful that the lord is so gracious in only revealing a small amount of my heart at a time, lest I be overwhelmed by the blackness of it. To realize that I don’t even know my own heart is a bit scary (especially when he shows me just a little.) And yet His patience as he reveals areas of weakness and sin while supplying the necessary items for change never cease to amaze me. On top of which he is always waiting and willing to help me all over again when I fall. I am so thankful to my lord for his patience, his never ending love, and his constant care for me and my dirty heart.

Experience Jersey

Just wanted to let everyone know we’ll be adding a deck to our pool this summer and it’s going to be great! So I officially invite all of you to come visit sometime during the summer to try out the new deck( It’s hard to make changes on something so big in size, but nothing is impossible.) And for all of you “used to be Michiganders” I think it’s time you came to visit! Then you would all be able to share in the joy of Jersey.

true friends

So I've been thinking about friends lately and what makes a good one. I came to the conclusion that a friend is someone that would never post anything (i.e. a picture of long ago) that might be embarrassing to one individual. I also thought that a true friend would never call another names such as "slacker", or "lazy" or imply she's been that way her whole life. A true friend would be willing to go the extra mile and post regardless of the business of life that has her so wrapped up she doesn't have a moment to type. A good friend would never compare her to a less fortunate individual (regardless of family relations). A true friend would give her the benefit of the doubt and let her have her mid-life crisis in peace without all the heckling...........do I have any true friends????

So as not to disappoint big t, I will post.

It finally happened. I gave in, I just couldn't say no any longer. The pressure has been so great over the last four or five years and I have been weakening. I thought I was stronger than that. The will power was simply not enough. My determination to fight the good fight and not give in was powerless. I failed. miserable disappointment. my hair is gone.

simply scraps

I pray for miracles, big miracles. And I often question myself. Should I be praying for these things? Am I worthy to ask? Do I deserve this? The answer; a big fat NO. But then I look at the miracles in the Bible. For instance, the woman whose daughter had an evil spirit (mark 7) what humbleness and yet there was such boldness. She understood that while what she asked of the Lord was HUGE in human eyes was only a “scrap of food” in His. What faith, what confidence, what mercy displayed by Christ. What generosity. What flexibility in His plan( after all she wasn’t a Jew) and yet it was just as He planned. My God never ceases to amaze me. I can come boldly knowing that He is the God of All Grace!

things that make me ask why

Why is hugging such a big deal? Why do I change the color of my walls weekly? Why do I hate doing my hair? Why is putting on make-up so tasking? Why don’t I have a favorite color? Why is leading something (like a bible study or prayer group) so scary? Why do I always choose comfort over looking nice? why do I like naps? why don't I like animals? why does Jack put up with me?

lacking love

LOVE, a topic I thought I was pretty good at.(see the pride?) then from every side, my quiet time, Sunday sermons, communication between friends, and every other way imaginable, Gods soft, and constant voice is showing me how much love I am lacking "love does not boast and is not arrogant" I've always thought the two were the same and I had both mastered, after all I did not walk around telling everybody how good I was (okay, let me just pause for all of you who remember my infamous little quote growing up "I'm the best" and say this has not even been considered by me until right now, huh, look at that another example of Gods working.) these past weeks God has revealed a little more of my heart to me. What I saw: I am terrible at both! Boasting and arrogance. I thank God for his grace in only revealing to me a little of my heart at a time, lest I become overwhelmed with the blackness of it.