true friends

So I've been thinking about friends lately and what makes a good one. I came to the conclusion that a friend is someone that would never post anything (i.e. a picture of long ago) that might be embarrassing to one individual. I also thought that a true friend would never call another names such as "slacker", or "lazy" or imply she's been that way her whole life. A true friend would be willing to go the extra mile and post regardless of the business of life that has her so wrapped up she doesn't have a moment to type. A good friend would never compare her to a less fortunate individual (regardless of family relations). A true friend would give her the benefit of the doubt and let her have her mid-life crisis in peace without all the heckling...........do I have any true friends????