Well, we are three months out. Little Elijah is a mover and a shaker for sure! It is so cool to feel all his little (and not so little) movements. We had our second ultrasound and he is beautiful, and if you know me at all you know that is saying something! On the one hand I can’t wait for is arrival, but on the other…… I am more nervous now than I was with any of the others! I’m not sure exactly why the nerves are playing these evil games, I tell Jack that ignorance really is bliss, and now I just know a little more than I did then. I realize many of the ways I’ve messed up in the past and don’t want a repeat, maybe it’s the talk of a C section (not afraid of the giant gash across my belly, just the huge needle!) Or Maybe I’m nervous because of the simple fact that I hurt now! My back bugs me, my ribs feel as if they were going to crack, and my gut feels like I’m going to lose him when I walk. (sooooo glad I had three in my 20’s!) I have been so enjoying my talks and laughs with Victoria lately I don’t want to lose that precious time with her. She is growing up so fast! Paige and Jamin can still entertain themselves for the whole day outside and I love to sit and watch them. The other day I sat in the basement and just watched as the three of them spent a couple hours building a city out of construction paper. From paper dolls, dogs and cars, down to beds and furniture made out of napkins! They have all been so helpful lately. Jamin even got the Windex and started washing windows for me (granted, it was with the dirty, watery, sloppy washcloth out of the sink, but he was trying!!) They all realize that mom needs a good cry just about everyday for no apparent reason. I think they have put money down on who can spot the tears first! With so many thoughts and emotions going through my head lately, So many fears and worries, doubts and regrets, and so many times I have had to take them to the Lord, I have come to the conclusion that my faith must be growing!! If God thinks I can handle all of this, I’m CERTAIN it must be!

Thrills in the Chill

I woke up this morning to another snow day! Yesterday made perfect sense, the wind was awful, the roads were covered in six inches of snowy slush, the snow was still coming down and I wanted a day to sled with the kids in the snow! But Today!?? The roads are mostly cleared save a small patch of ice here and there. The sun is shinning brilliantly, and it is no longer snowing! Why no school today? All you Michiganders would laugh at us! Although in Michigan we would’ve had school yesterday as well! (It must be that the county workers are so good in Michigan:)
I am of the thinking that there need be at least two good heavy snow falls a season, but that they only last a couple of days! Just enough to make everything look pretty, sled with the kids, start a fire in the pit and drink hot chocolate! Which is exactly what we did yesterday? It was a good day, the kids all had a friend over, Paige had an extra one stop by, Jack was able to be home with us and the kids were dead tired when it was time for bed! Although I found that actually getting ON the sled with a huge belly is a lot harder than I thought it would be, it sure was fun going down the hill. Jamin is getting very good on a snow board! He makes it all the way down the hill and over the ramp on his feet! Steve brought over a snowball maker, so they had a huge snowball fight. Tori and Julie quit so I took their left over snowballs and pegged the boys! (my personal highlight of the day) We filled our bellies with a huge pan of lasagna and about 500 cookies! Just what a snow day should be!
Well Tyler is over today and they are all back outside. Mom however is ready for spring to come!

Happy times

I just had three of the best days I have had in a while! The weather was perfect, the air smells of spring, the coffee tasted good and the company was the best! My energy has come back and I even played basketball with the kids again. Jamin kept bumping into Elijah (not real sure he enjoyed it) but Jamin rubbed my belly and apologized often.
Jack has made me laugh so much these past days my cheeks hurt and my stomach aches! We finally found a movie that was funny and clean! (haven't found one of those in a long time.) Something about these last days has reminded me of my dating days (with Jack) and while we have had an awesome marriage (no complaints) there is just something special about those days when we were dating; the smells, the laughs, the butterflies, the total attention and devotion to each other! I can't put my finger on the ONE thing that has brought back those wonderful memories, but I love my man, and I will miss him this weekend.

Gifts even after Christmas

Well, it's been almost three months (I think) since we found out we are having another child!! There are times I still can't believe it's true (until Paige comes up giggling and rubs my belly). I am pretty sure I am not suppose to be this big yet, and Jack keeps saying it's because there are two inside me. ONE is a huge surprise, I'm not sure I could wrap my head around TWO (not yet anyway)! God has been so good through the whole thing. (surprise, surprise) While my selfishness rears it's ugly head, He gently reminds me life is not about me! When worry gets the best of me, He shows me He already has everything worked out and softly reminds me to simply trust! When the tears are rolling for no apparent reason and I feel like a sloth, He assures me His strength is sufficient! When I have doubts about being able to raise another baby, I remember It's only because of Christ that I am able at all! If I were to look at all the mistakes I've made already on my children, the task of doing it again seems too great for me, and yet I know God will grant all I need! So Thankful I have the One True God on my side! I cannot wait for our new precious one to arrive!

stubborn or just frugal?

I refuse to turn my heat on! My nose is red, but I will not turn my heat on. My toes could crack off at any given moment, but the heat will not go on. My fingers can barely move on the keyboard, but the heat will not be moved by me! I can almost see my breath inside, but the thermostat will stay where it is.


I think I'll go out in the sun to warm up some.

Choosing between the two

Most decision are made with little to no thought. I will push snooze just one more time. I'm having eggs for breakfast. I'll have tea this morning instead of coffee. I think I'll take a bath not a shower. I'll change the living room around (again). Walk or ride? cake or ice cream? jeans or shorts? All decisions with very little thought behind them. But what happens when it comes to the bigger issues? When there are two ways to go and neither of them wrong or sinful? Which path do we trod? Both have their advantages as well as disadvantages. Both have bumps along the way and ruts to avoid. Both offer some sort of comfort as well as discomfort. There will be tears shed regardless of the choice. And there is always the unknown just around the bend which you can't see until you're on the path. Which way do we go when God would be honored in either? How is the final decision decided? When there's no going back can we be certain? A true test of faith is always in a decision.

Embrace tattle telling

Names are made up to protect the innocent (or in this case the guilty!)
Today I am thanking God for Tattletales! My whole life I have spent with the awful acknowledgement that I was a tattletale! Knowing I was the cause of so much torture for my siblings has often brought feelings of regret or sorrow. I spied on my sister kissing her boyfriends in the yard,so I HAD to tell. I found contraband in their secret places and was quick to the whistle, I was guilt-ridden for seeing a movie and couldn't wait to free myself by telling mom and dad that "they" forced me to go. I snuck somewhere I wasn't suppose to be and couldn't last a night before confessing. I was always quick to tell, even on myself. It struck me today that as a mom, I long for a tattletale! We recently had and incident with one of our daughters that I wish we had found out about sooner. If only we had a tattletale like me! All these years of guilt and anguish only to realize Tattle telling is GREAT! And down deep my siblings are thanking me for it! RIGHT?!?!?!?!?